Hanging on by a Thread
Posted on January 15, 2012 - 2
So ummm, I actually mean to blog a few days ago but honestly, I just didn’t feel up to it. I do feel the urge to blog now, so I am! Plus, I have a few things I want to talk about.
First of all, I started school on Tuesday and I got my new schedule. If you follow me on Twitter, you might have seen that I was really nervous. I’m not sure why but I get nervous whenever I get a new schedule but it happens every time. So yeah, I was nervous but I ended up getting a pretty good schedule! Also some of you may already know that this past semester was TERRIBLE. My classes were extremely difficult and I made my first C in honors world history. This semester, though, I dropped the honors course (I kept honors Spanish and honors lit though) and I like my teachers more. I am so thankful. 
Second thing. Again if you follow me on Twitter, you probably know my family is not in our best stance. This is what pretty much has happened: apparently my mom and dad have been not so close because my dad has not been feeling loved by my mom who has pulled away because she did not feel loved (I had already known this because of my gut feelings, I just knew). So because of this my dad went out with another woman, but luckily nothing romantic happened. My mom ended up catching him the the weirdest way: my brother called my dad about something and my dad “butt answered” and my brother, on the other line, heard another woman. My mom picked up the phone and listened in. Isn’t that kind of random? Huh. I am very thankful she found out because otherwise if she hadn’t, it cold have turned into more than just casual dinner.
The first night I found out about what my dad had done, it was very awkward between me and my dad and it was hard to see my mom cry constantly. She would hyperventilate and just cry and cry and cry. I know everyone cries but it’s hard to see your mom fall apart, ya know? My dad came home and explained everything to me and my brother. Unlike my brother, I forgave my dad right away. People make mistakes and everyone is capable of cheating. It does not make them a bad person, it is just a way of showing their feelings of being unloved. My dad is only human and he is just hurt. He feels unloved and unconnected with our family. He just needs to find a way to open his heart to love again which I hope the counseling and God will help him to do.
I still have this weird gut feeling that this will be the best year ever. I feel like they will work things out and by doing this, their marriage will be fixed and better since their marriage has been a disaster for 10 years. It will change things and it will be amazing. However if divorce comes about, I can handle that too because that is just how it is sometimes…that’s life. It was obviously not meant to last and they will find new partners and therefore, they will be happy.
In the end, everything will be okay. I know it. 